I Am On A Plane Headed Back Down South (ATL and FL)

And this photo represents the way I feel. For one week I will be in Atlanta and Florida. That makes me feel just like this turtle. Why?

1. The weather will be warm. I am going to lay out so much my skin is going to blacken and sizzle until I look like either Kobe Bryant or Kobe beef.

2. The guys aren’t as jaded. (although I am pretty sure by saying that it makes me jaded) So it will be really easy to have a mini-vacationship and break his heart whenever I leave him thinking my name is Catherine Aragon and I have to go back to my life of supermodeling and running a business designing home furnishings for Raymour and Flannigan. Seriously Cindy Crawford and Cathy Ireland–what do you know about leather sectionals besides how to do lines off one?

3. My family. My sister had a new baby in January and I havent even met her yet. This will be a good chance to exploit them for my photography. If you want to see that btw click here. See that? Shameless butt plug. I am looking forward to copious amounts of fights and food. And getting laid in Atlanta to tide me over for Panama City–the land that Poon forgot.

4. Have you ever left went to a restaurant, ordered your food and then went to the bathroom in hopes that by the time you got back your food would be delivered? New York is the restaurant (and frankly I should probably call the health department because a rat just nibbled my taint.) The food is spring, and the South is the bathroom.

That analogy ended up sounding way worse than I thought it would but it makes sense if you think about it. In the south you can piss outside without worrying your dick will get frostbite and break off.

Fuck you Winter. I have had it with you. You had best not be here when I get back.

Yours,

Gary