How To Tell If You Had A Good Night (When You Can’t Remember)
1. Your asshole is bleeding. You obviously slept with someone or ate something that doesn’t agree with you. If you slept with someone he probably had a big dick, so good job. If you ate something that doesn’t agree with you, most likely there was vomiting involved. So you probably feel thin. Good job.
2. You are walking home wearing pumps, hoop earrings, and sweatpants at 9 AM. You may not know exactly what you did, but every single person around you does. It may be your walk of shame, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be proud of it.
3. You are only now waking up, and it is 4 pm. It doesn’t matter what you did but it was obviously awesome. Check facebook for pics, your garbage can for used condoms, your mouth for herpes, and your bathroom for vomit. In that order. It is entirely possible with a little sleuthing to figure out exactly what happened to you.
4. You have no idea where you are. That means that you are so awesome that somebody actually let you crash at their place. Maybe you were so good at sex that they let you sleep over. Maybe you were so funny that you have made a lifelong friend that you don’t realize. Either way pat yourself on the back that you weren’t so pukey that you had to sleep behind the dumpster at a TGIFridays.
Any and all of these conditions may or may not happen at the same time. If such an event occurs then you can tell that you had a really really awesome night. And you can party with us here at Gloganvlog any time.