How To Survive Until Payday If You Are A Broke Ass Ho

We have all had a “poor until payday” week, or month, or lifetime. A very valuable lesson I have learned is that no matter how much money you make, you will find a way to spend it. So I put together some little suggestions on how to survive until payday:

Hungry? Make spaghetto. I know that traditional spaghetti calls for noodles, meat, red sauce, onions,peppers, and mushrooms, but what we are making is something different entirely. Spaghetto is made from Ramen noodles and Ketchup. Throw a melted craft single in there for good measure if you like.

Thirsty? Go to an open bar. Most gay places have them for at least an hour. It may be a cardinal gay sin to go to a bar before 11, but chances are you won’t know anyone there. Plus you will be surrounded by other broke ass ho’s, so you might make some friends/roommates for when you end up living in a cardboard box under the L train later. Tip about tips: Always try to leave a dollar for drinks, especially free ones. If you simply can’t, then stand next to the other dollars laying on the bar so it looks like you did.

Bored? Invite someone over to fuck. When it comes to fucking, people don’t care if you are rich or poor, as long as you have working genitals free of strange anomalies like bumps, sores, and dick hair.

I hope that helps. If it doesn’t I’m sorry but I’m about to go shopping and don’t have any more time to put into thinking about poor people.

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