How To Piss God Off: Steal The 900-Year-Old Heart Of A Saint

I am not the type of person that likes to make fun of religions, races, sexualities, or quadriplegics with thin legs (because frankly I am a little jealous of the last one) but the Catholic Church makes some interesting choices, and the decision to keep a 900 year old zombified heart strikes me as a little questionable.

Apparently this month, the heart of St. Laurence O’ Toole was stolen from the Christ Church Cathedral in Dublin, Ireland. I am way more concerned with why the Catholic Church would keep a zombified heart than the fact that someone stole it. In my opinion,  it was probably one of those poor hungry Irish people from the potato famine that have red hair and foreskin, since those are the only 4 things I know about Ireland.

Consider yourself up to date on current events. Now you can go to your book club and have something to talk about besides whose husband you are currently fucking.