How To Murder Your Co-workers With Mere Office Supplies

Everyone who works in an office knows that guy. He is the one you inevitably end up sitting next to in the break room. He is a little too old to be working for such low pay, but it is clear from his greasy soon-to-be comb-over and the way that his short sleeved collared shirts are buttoned to the neck and freshly pressed that he lives in his mother’s basement and still wets the bed. If you get too close to him you notice that he smells like an old bean bag chair. That is no accident. His mother’s entire house smells like old bean bag chairs because she is a hoarder. She is the kind of lady who gets groceries delivered only to end up feeding them to one of her cats. She goes shopping at rummage sales to save the money that she doesn’t make and spends most of her time chatting with her “girlfriends” that are selling her worthless gemstones from a plastic mine in Madagascar on HSN. Needless to say he has mommy issues. You can free him of that by creating this tiny bow and arrow from a pen and rubber band. Think of all the awkward conversations at work picnics you will prevent!

I am not sorry that the picture is so small because frankly, if you can’t see it well then you shouldn’t really be firing off precision instruments in an enclosed area anyway. You might miss and hit someone who has actually had sex, god forbid.