How To Know If Your Neighbors Are Crackheads
Living the New York party lifestyle such as I do – I have a Ph.D in detecting telltale signs that people are crackheads. I’m sad/happy to report that my neighbors might just be living the posh crackhead lifestyle right under (or in) my nose! The signs:
- I’ve seen cute little plastic baggies trying to hide underneath the front door Mat
- Both neighbors look skinny enough to be confused with Golem, my precious
- They claim that the white dust that adorns several contertops is merely drywall from hanging pictures
- They have really short straws – but not really short glasses
- Their electricity goes out more than I do
- The have a whole lot of foil – but no food in which to cook with
- Their fridge consists of water, lettuce, and um, that’s pretty much it
I real crackhead wouldn’t leave their crack aka white powder on the counter top. Not even one flake would be wasted.
Good point. Waste not want not. We don’t stop till even the baking powder’s gone.