Halloween In April
If I am like most people (I’m not). I am not the only person who randomly thinks of cool Halloween costumes throughout the year. But as soon as it is actually Halloween, I forget all of them, or I lack any type of creativity, initiative, or skill to pull them off. I’ve decided to show you a few of my past Halloween costumes and then tell you about my awesome ideas for this year. It’s not really even for your viewing pleasure. It’s so I can remember my ideas. Suckers.
Last year I was a gold digger. My friends were Desert Rose and Peg Bundy. We were in Salem.
Before I go on, let me explain that I make it a point to ALWAYS be wasted on Halloween. So I am not sober in any of these pictures. But when do you ever expect me to be sober…
This was when I lived in Brooklyn and was poor and had an oddly terrible time.
This is me being the FUUUUU comic guy. And sweating to death because I refused to take off my hoodie.
(I also forgot to make eye holes in my mask so if I wore it, I was blind)
This was me in my acting days. I was a great actress.
So this year I have decided on two costumes. One is, I am going to cut a cardboard box into a Van that I can wear. Write “free candy” on the sides and wear a mustache and pedo glasses. But this requires…skill..something I usually lack.
The second one is, I am going to make a shirt that just says the word “Life” on it, and I am going to hand everyone lemons all night. Or until I get drunk and try putting them all in my drinks or hit people on the face with them.