Glovanvlog Video: See Lana Del Rey Swing, Smoke, And Screw Old Bikers In “Ride”

I actually saw this video a few days ago, but I debated on whether to post it because I don’t want to be blamed for you losing 10 minutes of your life. Also, just like always, while it was beautiful to look at I felt the same way about the “Ride” video that I do about everything Lana Del Rey does: Its a try-too-hardsy wannabe American hipster that somehow manages to suck the joy out of my life just by appearing on my computer screen. That being said, if you like a raspy-voiced poetic diatribe that keeps going and going and going even after your ears are bleeding harder than Lana’s asshole after whatever casting couch experience made her a star, go for it. If you want to see her re-enact the Jodie Foster movie “The Accused” by bending over a pinball machine to get plowed by a man who reminds me way too much of my dad, take a look. Also not to be missed: Lana swinging on a tire swing attached to an invisible tree, Lana chain-smoking ironically by a gas pump, and Lana making angry honey-badger faces while being chase-raped around the desert by men in wife-beaters and denim. Oh, and she fucks a senator.

If that isn’t the American dream, then I don’t know what the fuck is.