Current Event: First Homosexual Found!
The first homosexual ever thought to exist was found recently in the Czech Republic and no, Elton John is not on tour. Archeologists dug up a male human skeleton that somehow seemed different from all of the other male skeletons (sound familiar).
How did they know Firmo (first homo) was gay? Well, for one he was buried on his left side, just as women from that era were. Additionally he was buried with domestic jugs, not weapons – these jugs were only found in grave sites of women. Archeologists also found lube, three butt plugs, poppers, and some glow sticks which means that this hot cave-tranny really liked to party. Ok, the last part wasn’t true but if I lived 5,000 years ago I would not be out hunting either.
Firmo definitely had the right idea, you go ahead and play with clay – go ahead and make your plates and pots baby boy. And you better believe this fierce bitch had a freshly grown real-moss wig too.