Donatella Versace Without Makeup

The world has been waiting for it since she had her first full-face-rearrange back in 1929 before the stock market crashed. A couple of years back some photos surfaced of an old leathery Florida grandmother, and many people thought “Finally, a photo that proves my theory that Donatella Versace is actually a prehistoric mummified monkey that stumbled into a Party City and walked out with a sassy platinum wig.

It is my assumption that these photos were a hoax.

But finally, in a gift from the devil himself Donatella was mixing her morning cocktail of quaalude/xanax/morphine/heroin/chocolate/childrens-souls and accidentally created the perfect storm of inebriation. She walked out of the house looking like the above photo.

Kunty Karl Lagerfeld is rolling over in his coffin (The one he keeps in the wine cellar of his Palm Beach condo) mostly because they are actually fraternal twins, and now people will know what he looks like without cuntiness smeared all over his face.