Normally, this blog would run as part of out Man Candy series but I feel that River Viiperi is so hot he needs his own blog. River is a Spanish & Finnish male model that has exploded onto the scene within the last couple of years. Enjoy the smorgasbord of hot boy.
If it is, Happy 4/20. I know that in high school and college 4/20 was a thing because it was the one day where everyone that smoked weed united, and feasted, and was jolly. Now that I am out of college I know that if everyone who smoked weed celebrated on one day, the entire world economy would crumble in on itself, and sales of doritos/sour cream/pickles/cayenne pepper/and hot dogs (all together, baked for 45 minutes at 500 degrees) would skyrocket. Hell, maybe it would create its own new economy.
My point is, pretty much everyone has or does smoke weed. So celebrating 4/20 is like celebrating being human, or having sex with over 100 people. Much like AIDS, has 4/20 become a way of life?
I have a tranny on my couch. She is one of my breast friends and I have known her since I was 16, and most likely I will rope her into writing for GVG at some point in exchange for injecting some industrial grade tire sealant into her back-boobs. Hanging out with her a lot in the past few weeks has gotten me thinking about the dynamic between straight guys and trannies.
Namely, a straight guy is often very easily mind-fucked into tapping some tranny ass.
In the straight world there is a certain mentality that blocks people into either masculine or feminine roles. That is why straight guys sometimes pick on gay guys- because they are feminine and different, but still obviously male. That being said there is still a fine line between masculinity and femininity and if you are a tranny, it is pretty easy to push a straight guy over the edge. Don’t ask me how I know.
Here are some ways to mind-fuck a straight guy into ass-fucking a tranny.
Wear a wig. It doesn’t matter if this wig is actually just the top of a mop-head, some strings of cooked spaghetti, or a merkin you bought from the discount bin at Goodwill, long hair is the easiest indicator of femininity. Straight guys will often look the other way (especially if the other way entails your back side) when you don the #9 sassy bob from the Kim Zolciak for 7-11 wig collection.
Put on some makeup. Even something as small as lipstick can flip the switch to bitch in a straight guy. If they are really freaky they might even want to put some on themselves. I think that makes you lesbians then, but I’m not sure. Ask Julia’s wildebeest ass.
Put on a dress. This one may be the most obvious, but I know of a gay guy that Read more…
1. If your name is Quindarious Gooch, clearly your parents are huge pot-heads. Celebrate this by buying and smoking as much weed as possible.
2.Get an ostentatious haircut, so that when you are high and paranoid in public you can look at yourself in store windows and laugh so hard that smoke streams out of your asshole.
Today’s reader submission comes from Michael, a straight guy (I know, I didn’t know they read this site either!) trying to navigate the dangerous waters of online dating.
In 2005, back when you still had to be invited by someone to join Facebook, I thought to myself, WHY do I need my face and info on some online site?
7 years later I am an addict. If a day goes by where I didn’t look at a friends profile or update my status I have palpitations. The evolution of Facebook has just made it so easy for your “friends” to stalk your every move, and you let them by making your business public. Relief came with the advent of creating “lists” to limit what certain friends can or cannot see.
Obviously this includes people I’ve dated and potential future dates. If we only just met, I ain’t even gonna add her on FB. I won’t look up her Twitter account or news articles about how she saved a cat from a burning building or won the award for best pole dancer on the eastern sea board.
If we already knew each other, you can bet I am placing her skank ass on Restricted. She doesn’t need to see pics of my skank
ass getting wasted, or with other girls at clubs, or my random status updates about how amazing I am and how large my… um… ego… is. Thats not me being fake; thats me being selective about how I want certain people to see me. I can choose to make certain posts public, and others private, just like I would share my information in reality with my friends vs strangers. She and I need to get to know each other from through personal space, not cyber space.
Yes it’s cute while it lasts. You put yourselves in your little relationship status and write cutesy comments on each others walls, making those around you want to projectile vomit on to your face through the computer. But what happens when shit turns sour? If this relationship doesn’t last (highly likely because she’s a stage 5 clinger and I’m way too good for her) then I don’t want to dangle my social life in front of her like a steak in front of Kujo. She and I each don’t need to be constantly bombarded with updates from each others lives. We need to move on. I don’t want to have to read her passive aggressive status quotes about love lost, where they’re obviously focused on me, nor do I want her to see my pictures making out with new girls to get over her (ok fine maybe I do but I also don’t want her to kill herself because of it).
Facebook has just made the process of dating and communicating way too complicated. If you have something to say to someone you like, pick up the phone and call them. Don’t send them a “friend request;” send them a phone call. And if you were Facebook friends while you dated, and the relationship didn’t last, or you had a terrible break up, at least have the decency to put each other on Restricted or De-friend each other to stay away from drama. Save that shit for Susan Lucci; drama clings to her like a 50 cent hoe clings to a corner.