Authors
Gary is a photographer/graphic and web designer/tit specialist/artist/writer/general candyass/teen superstar residing in NYC. He likes drinking for the sake of getting drunk, meeting new people, steak, making light of racism, all things that aren’t politically correct and wainscotting. He comes from a small town down south and dreams of one day getting a tan.
He is currently working on a memoir called Several Drinks Later: The Gary Randall Scandal which he intends to self publish at kinkos and then distribute behind the Dunkin Donuts at Broadway and Fulton in the Financial District. For more info, visit his personal site HERE
Keep an eye out for excerpts. And his hands–which are probably crotching you up even as you read this.
Loki is a world traveler, lover of different cultures and all around nice guy. In other words, he gets around, strives towards sleeping with one person from every country on the globe, and will say almost anything to get his latest conquest into bed. Oh, and he’s often been referred to as the God of Mischief, but that’s just a nasty rumour.
He’s lived up north, down south, out west and now on the eastcoast… all the while trying to avoid awkward family gatherings and psycho exes. Nothing makes him happier than ice cream; if only because he’s lactose intolerant and that keeps him skinny . And that, my dears, is some f’in good luck (but we’ll spare you the details)
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Julia is a snob, a photographer, a writer, (super original right?)a hoodie-holic, a pessimist, a serial relationship ender, a real smart mouth asshole.
She is awesome at being real, regardless of how much it pisses someone off. Which usually turns out about as awesome as catching VD.
She hates Gary and joined this blog to tear it down from the inside.
She lives in Tampa, works a regular 9 to 5 job, and is addicted to tumblr. She likes long walks on the beach and lots and lots of whiskey. But mostly just the whiskey part.
Jats is a fashion-loving, advertise working tattooed dance machine. A true lover of the East Village, Williamsburg and black eyeliner, Jats follows fashion and celebrity news like it’s his second job (well, it kinda is). Jats can be found most nights downing vodka, dancing his tits off, dressed like a subdued 90′s party monster.
Jewbie’s biggest accomplishment was spending only a nickel for an entire living room set; when the original price was $675.00. He is a NYC ad executive living in the heart of Manhattan’s most fabulous gayborhood. Jewbie values such things as Coupons, Twinks, Money, and traveling to countries that don’t smell like old socks dipped in formaldehyde. Look for Jewbie in the hottest clubs around the city or at the hottest flea markets.
A crazy question just popped into my head. Do lesbians use tampons? I assume they don’t get periods since they have no reason to have ovaries, or fallopian tubes. Also that when their first period showed up they intimidated it by wearing flannel and chugging brewskis, and it never came back.
Regardless, you look like a maxi pad kind of girl.
Uhh I dont make it a habit of sitting in a blood diaper, so tampons are where it’s at. But if I had my choice I’d sell all my baby making organs right on the black market and use the money to buy more shoes.
The only person that would buy your sex organs would be a family of barren wildebeests. Btw I love your profie pic. Are you taking your hoodie off to scare your lesbian girlfriend straight, or….wait a minute. How did you even take this photo without the use of either of your hands? Do you have orangutan toes? Carpetmunching voodoo? A prehensile dick?
oh thats rich. hey why don’t you just take your shirt off for every picture, your talent isnt what gets you anywhere. It’s your tits. you’re nothing more than a literary prostitute, whose jealous of the fact that I am white AND grew up in a real house. Hey nice sunglasses dude, and the tie really seals the deal. it says “classy, yet a train wreck whore”. Kudos, sir.
Hah. There are no “real houses” in Thonotossassa, FL. At least my driveway wasn’t a dirt path through the woods. You are one ironic emo face piercing from having your own t-shirt line at hot topic. Zing!
you look like an asian mexican.
You look like Danny Devito.
Omg! Danny devito! I love your work!!
Haha, This is great. Profile AND comments.
Haha thanks! Feel free to vote for your favorite author as long as its me! JK
please. the only thing you’d be voted first for is off the island, tranny.
Why are Julia and I the only ones wearing a shirt? Clearly because we’re the classy ones!
Actually its because you are the only ones with tits. ZING
Actually it’s more like we don’t have to show nip to get laid. Pow!!
Gary cant afford a shirt because he’s a “freelancer”. Also, he’s a prostitute.
@ Logan–you are right. all you need to get laid is internet access.
@julia–at least I can afford a haircut you swoopy banged Evanescence groupie.
Bitch the first time YOU went to New York, with me, you had some New Found Glory, feathered man bangs. Don’t pretend.
Yes. But mine didn’t have those finely placed feather frosted streaks like god trickle-pissed bleach onto my head. Or that repressed lesbo razor cut edge that says: I’m wearing a distressed vegan pleather jacket, and mandals. No straight girl stands a chance against my entrancing poon power. And I cry through my anger about being born without a dick.
Sent from my iPhone
this just literally-made my morning….#BRAVOQUEERS
I changed my name to Jewbie. It’s more fitting. I am now also finally on the Authors Page, you all may now rejoice
Hallelujah. Is it weird that we are rejoicing directly underneath a post from the dark lord himself?
I can’t tell if you are talking about me or our long time supporter above me, Satan.
I just want to say that you all are scallywags. The scallyiest wags ever.
Hello Jewbie, you make my juices flow.
I prefer the Hebrew spelling “Jewces”. But thanks, you can use them to baste your Christmas Turkey!
when do I get added?
this fag-on-dyke-on-breeder hate thread is more interesting than a lot of the posts. Clearly you weren’t all created equal. That being said, what a funny little blog you guys (lesbians included) have going here. It’s fish-n’-chips dry and will remain a mainstay for at least a weekly check until it gets holiday-turkey-in-the-midwest dry. Being the raging little faggot my conservative Christian daddy made me, I’m partial to all things that make my phallus puss rainbow pre-seminals. thanks from the bottom of where my heart would be.
Why don’t you write for us Ricky – let’s see what you got.
I’m the lesbian! I got acknowledged!