Posts by Nick Mac
You’re always going to be a psycho.
Ok now listen, you can change you name, your hair, your body, or your penis into a vagina and you will still be a psycho. Take this wannabe ginger snap that planned, plotted and put into action the Colorado Dark Knight Massacre. His new look shows that he has been poked in his pooper a few hundred times and is now at peace with it. I’m pretty sure he shaved his head so the orange doesn’t show underneath the mop wig he wears around prison, “Bitch Boi!” However, let him get out of prison and get into revitalizing community activities, and he will probably still slice open a few squirrels in the park.
Obvious Breaking News: Katy Perry Is A Beard
Aww look how cute this space-age couple look together. Katy Perry has been increasing her standards in men by supposedly dating the way too sexy for anyone’s good, Baptiste Giabiconi.
Obviously this is just another publicity stunt like everything she does. I’ve done my research on Mr. Gia and I have come to the conclusion that Katy Perry is a beard. A big retarded robotic BEARD. Because your boyfriend is gay. GAY! Karl Lagerfeld (Chanel, Fendi designer for the under the fashion rock sleepers) is a sugar daddy troll. I don’t care who says what is fashionable but the image below says to me that Karl and his Dukes of Hazzard twink are more believable as a hot item than Katy Perry will ever be at being a human being. I’m sure these gay lovers will be in denial to the press and say that they are just friends with a common interest. I mean that’s what I told my mom when was experimenting with the quarterback in high school.
What I really meant was a common interest for each others cherry pickers. 8===D
More hot pics after the jump. Read more…
Angelina Ruins Another Day For Jennifer Aniston
Finally Jennifer Aniston had a great day last week. A new star is placed on the Walk Of Fame in her honor so that kids can spit gum out and hookers can smear their gonorrhea all over her engraved name for eternity. Even her boyfriend, Justin Theroux, showed up to her ceremony to show the world that after 9 months it is possible to put up with Jenn Ann and her shit. But where is that ex-asshole Brad? Angelina showed up and made her congratulatory point, no words needed.
Bitch stole yo man.
Nicki Minaj Is My Favorite Stupid Hoe.
Nicki Minaj just got a step closer to being fucking awesome. Items needed to make this music video viewing experience it best:
1. A blunt nigga
2. Henessey.
3. Your pink wig that is stashed away in the closet (yes I’m looking at you homos)
Some of my personal favorite quotes from Nicki:
“If you cute then your crew can roll,
if you sexy eat my cooca raw”
“I think the world is getting more gay-friendly, so hip-hop is too. But it’s harder to imagine an openly gay male rapper being embraced, people view gay men as having no street credibility. But I think we’ll see one in my lifetime.”
“I keep a couple wet wipes
in case a bum try to touch me, EW”
“The new album is going to have a lot of Roman on it … And if you’re not familiar with Roman, then you will be familiar with him very soon. He’s the boy that lives inside of me. He’s a lunatic and he’s gay and he’ll be on there a lot.”
“I could have given up a thousand times but its not about me. whenever you make something larger than yourself, you get this extraordinary strength. If I was just doing this for me, I would have given up.
Everything i’ve gone through has made my career and future larger than me. In other words, everything is riding on this, my mother’s future is riding on this, my brother’s future is riding on this.
So with all the things that i’ve been through, I’ve said, ‘You know what, I can give up but its not about me.’ When your life gets to a point where its no longer about you, you will surpass your own expectations of your own dreams and goals. So that is what you have to do… just look at the bigger picture and then all of the things that you have happened in your life, the times that you cried yourself to sleep. it will seem smaller in the bigger scheme of things.”
- Nicki Minaj
“Hey, do you know a Tyrone Jenkins? He just friended me. I don’t know, he’s black.”
Onision Does Kriss Angel (As If Anyone Else Would)
“Hi I’m Kriss Angel, and I am not a terrorist”
-Onision
In The News: North Korea Loses A Dicktator
Long live Kim Jong Il’s son, the Great Successor; may he be just as fucked up as his father. We Americans are bored of the Middle East so lets go back to fighting communism.
We had better credit scores during those times anyway.
A Keeper To Bring Home To Mom
So I came across this rising star as she was crawling her way out of the ocean to bask on the beach shores. Her voice called to me and as I approached closer, I realized that it wasn’t a giant octopus beaching itself and wailing its last breaths away. Instead it was in fact an actual person…
Grindr, You Adorable Little Thing
So Grindr- In case you live under a rock, or in Middle America is a gay social application for smart phones used to search for friends/true love and then just give up and find a bang mate. Its basically taking a free dating service and making it as creepy as possible by showing how far away someone is from you down to the feet. 0 feet = a keeper.
My Grindr came from my obsessed friend Jo who said I absolutely needed it. After having it for a week I got bored enough to try it thinking maybe I would get lucky. If by luck you mean I get messages like, “Wanna get blown?” or “You’re really close by, want to fuck?” then I am the luckiest guy in NY. Normally I like to hook up the old fashion way: get something slipped in my drink at the bar and wake up naked.
But I thought when in NYC do as the NYC’ers.
