A Gloganvlog Expose: Celebrities Without Eyebrows

These eyebrow-less celebrities speak to my soul. Here is what they say:

Angelina Jolie: I waxed my face with Pine Sol, and buffed my eyebrows to nubs. Now, my forehead is more slippery than a ski-slope. No more rug-burns when I play motorboat the muff doggie-style with Cambodian lesbians.

Anna Paquin: I am going to eat your fucking soul. Because I am a Harlequin baby.

Anne Hathaway: My father was an albino man and my mother was a titmouse. They were biological twins.

Mila Kunis: I am absolutely not fucking Ashton Kutcher.

Mila Kunis: He’s fucking me. So suck it, turd-smugglers.

Barack Obama: Alopecia is the real reason I wanted to reform health care.

Selena Gomez: I’ve done a lot of coke in my 14 years on this planet, but this is the first time I’ve snorted my own face. No bueno.

Taylor Lautner: I shaved off my brows to mourn the fact that pussies are dead to me.

Kim Kardashian: Beyonce just farted. It smells like cocoa butter. Anyone have any toast?

Editors Note: I would be remiss if I didn’t include a photo of Anna Paquin’s face/a Harlequin baby. So I put one at the bottom of this post. Do not look at it if you haven’t eaten yet, or are currently eating. Do not Google image search it if you ever plan to eat again. You will never be able to look at another runny omelet for as long as you live.

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I’m seriously warning you. Don’t Google image search the other photos (You’re about to open another Browser tab, aren’t you? Tricksy little bean.