Gay television commercials are becoming more mainstream then oatmeal enemas and semen facial masks. Here are a few for your enjoyment…. but, be careful there are a couple lesbian ones in there too.
West Fourth Dating App
Google: It Gets Better
Cyber Monday can surely eat a dick, because something much more momentous has occurred today. Tom Daley has revealed in a Youtube video that he is in fact gay, and in a relationship with a man. Chickenhawks and twink-hounds everywhere just creamed their leather manties and booked a one way ticket to Russia, or whatever third world country the Olympics has been relegated to this year. This news is especially important because in the last year we have seen a rising trend of professional athletes coming out of the closet, which is great news for equal rights, and illustrates to most of the world acchem Russia that gay people exist within all walks of life, even those that are considered predominantly straight. It is also important news because Tom Daley is both hot and British as fuck. Even though he photographs like an extremely sexy hobbit, he is actually 5’10. There are countless photos of him in states of near nudity, many of which are included in this post. And I repeat he is both hot and British as fuck.
I am pretty sure today should be officially sanctioned as the new Gay Christmas. To celebrate that I rounded up a bunch of photos of Tom Daley’s package. Enjoy!
A stocking filled with poppers? How did you know?!
Sister please. The Youtube vid was unnecessary.
…I think I just heard my Grindr go off in my locker.
Yes, apparently you can get carpal tunnel from giving a reach-around.
A scene from one of Tom Daly’s wet dreams.
She is here, she is queer, and she will stick those two fingers in places even God won’t go.
As you all are abundantly aware at this point, Paul Walker died yesterday. People deal with death in different ways, we choose humor, he would want it that way….
Paul Walker Jokes:
- I didn’t know Paul Walker starred in the new “Catching Fire” movie.
- Did you know that Paul Walker had a dandruff problem? They found his head and shoulders in the dashboard.
- Paul Crasher.
- It really burned me up when I heard of his untimely demise.
- Paul Walker was one of the greatest actors of our generation. He had us all believing he could drive.
- He took the phrase “Ride or die” too seriously.
- Paul Walker is making a guest appearance on The Walking Dead Sunday night.
- He came in like a wrecking Pauuulllll…
Even though I have been arrested twice, I have never been taken into a police station or had my mugshot taken. Fuck the justice system. Everybody knows there is nothing hotter than a little prison rape in the shower, and I have been robbed of meeting my soulmate/bunkmate in jail TWICE. I know I probably just jinxed myself, and tonight I am going to end up in the clink for pissing in a phone booth/city urinal, but better late than never, #amiright? We all love bad boys. They are the guys our mothers warned us about (because she secretly regrets dumping her college rock-band boyfriend for our fathers, who fart in their sleep). If you have ever seen the movie Oz or written to a prison inmate, you know that the hottest bad boys always end up in jail. Thus, its time to play a very fun game called The Hot Guy Mugshot Guessing Game. The rules are simple. Look at the Hot Guy Mugshots, masturbate to them, and then guess what they did to land them in the valley of forced anal and cigarette bartering. Sound off in the comments, if you want to play along.
1. Pooping while masturbating in front of a church full of elderly nuns to relieve his Catholic Guilt and chronic constipation.
2.Using his crazy eyes as lethal weapons to date-rape a cheerleading squad of high school girls, as a result of his frustration at not being able to grow facial hair.
3. Cutting lines with Lindsay Lohan on Christmas day using his meth cheeks as a razor blade.
4. Exposing his infantile areola mini-nips to a minor in a school zone.
5.Fucking his cousin who is a sheep.
6.Impersonating Bradley Cooper in order to embezzle hard-earned g-string coochie-funk dollas from strippers in Tampa, Florida.
7. Bottoming in public, while wearing a shade of foundation that in no way, shape or form, matches his natural skin tone. Read more…
Note: This post may be considered NSFW, in the event that your boss is a frigid asshole.
Do I really even need to say anything else? With the slew of hot, naked, muscle-bound British men running around spanking each other with oars, the Warwick Rowers’ nude charity calendar reads like an NSFW Abercrombie catalogue, if for instance, Abercrombie wasn’t a defunct racist organization only currently frequented by gay men over 40 and Swedish tourists that don’t know any better. I have known about this charitable cause for a while, but have refrained from writing about it because it is so ridiculously over-the-top (and potentially under the top) HOT that I was afraid looking at it would cause my eyes to burn out of my head faster than an STI caught from sitting on the toilet after Miley Cyrus. For the past five years, the Warwick British Rowing team (made up of predominantly straight athletes…) (…) has gotten together, stripped down to nothing but their foreskin and taken a slew of naked photos all in the name of fighting homophobia. The proceeds go to Sports Allies, a program created by Warwick Rowing and Educational Action Challenging Homophobia.
I am not sure exactly how they challenge homophobia by acting gay, but I will take it. Literally. Relentlessly. Wouldn’t you? Anyway I can pretend this article has real editorial value, but if you are reading this site, you know better than that. Enjoy the pics. AND THE GIFS.
Merry fucking Christmas, or whatever heathen holiday they celebrate over in the British Isles.
Also, if these photos make you feel some type of way, feel free to check out some naked rugby players, too.
I have never been more offended in my life. In desperate publicity stunts by lame actresses that nobody who doesn’t watch Lifetime Made for TV movies would ever recognize news, Julianne Hough slapped on some black face and a prison jumpsuit, and left the house on Halloween weekend dressed (allegedly) as Crazy Eyes, from Orange is the New Black. A lot of people (the three tweens that know who she is) are no doubt put off by the fact that she dressed up in black face and wore an orange prison jumpsuit, perpetuating the stereotype that there are a lot of black people in jail, which is understandably offensive.
I am personally offended however, because I don’t think her black face is black enough. If you have seen Orange is the New Black, you know that Crazy Eyes is pretty much one of the best reasons to watch. It doesn’t matter if she is pissing on the floor, scissoring a bulldyke at a going-away party, creating romantic love poems to white girls on the spot, or reciting Shakespearean sonnets to at-risk youth in wheel chairs(no exaggeration) she does it with the type of grace and panache that Julianne Hough will simply never possess. In a word, she is AWESOME. Her skin is like melted, buttery chocolate, her expressions are like rays of sunshine tickling your taint, and her eyes are like two goldfish, swimming in opposite directions in her head. The fact that Julianne Hough did such a piss-poor impression of her is almost as offensive as her brother Derek Hough pretending to be straight when he has such a bad case of gay face it looks like he is sucking on a dick made out of lemons.
Boo, you whore. Lets go get Skinny Girl Martinis.
We don’t drink no martinis in prison, bitch.
Not unless they’re made with toilet water.
How do technologically savvy gay guys in 2013 find love? If you want random sex with the closest penis around, you can hop on a dick delivery service app like Grindr, Scruff, or SeamlessWeb. If you want random sex with the closest Dominican, Puerto Rican, or Black penis around you can check out a website like Adam4Adam. If you want to go “grab drinks” (sidenote: those quotation marks mean sex) with a bisexual or desperately witty gay guy who is “too busy to date” OKCupid is always a great option. But if you are actually looking for love in this crazy gay world, you might consider trying Mench’d ( a brand new gay dating app geared towards gays finding long term relationships).
I was lucky enough to fall in love at a pretty young age, thus even during my random slutty phases in life I always knew that love was the ultimate goal. I’ve come a long way since I was 15, but that goal has never changed, even though the way I meet guys has gone from quietly peeping AOL chatrooms, to flashing my tits at a bar for free shots. It boggles my mind the amount of gay men I meet, especially in NYC, that have never been in love. Sex and dating are pretty fucking awesome, but love is an entirely different beast that completely changes your life, and one that many gays out there have yet to experience. Of course, the first step to falling in love is meeting a guy that doesn’t smell like choad cream and won’t steal your credit card in the middle of the night to buy some sawaski-covered Loub kicks on Ebay. So how do you meet a guy worthy of your crotch and your heart?
There are plenty of gay networking apps and websites out, but none of them really address that we are all really looking for love. This is where Mench’d is different. I sat down with Justin Maxx, the founder of Mench’d and asked him Read more…
We all know that twinks crave attention almost as much as Miley Cyrus but this twink takes the cake, and that’s not the only thing he’s taking. Clayton Pettet, a 19-year-old art student at Central Saint Martins College of Arts and Design in London has decided to lose his anal virginity in front of several onlookers on Jan 25th. He claims that this little sexcapade is being done for the sake of art and that virginity is an abstract notion built up by society – and, I call bullshit.
Listen kid you aren’t the first person to get-off by having people watch you get plowed harder than a field of freshly grown crops at the peak of harvesting season. You have a fetish, and you want to live it out, simple as that. I wouldn’t be surprised if our good friend, Clayton is the next breakthrough star on Badpuppy.com getting quadruple penetrated by two giraffes, a pink spikey dildo, and a 60 year-old fat man named Conrad, because naturally that would be the next step. The point is, this is not art it’s sex – no ifs, ands, or virgin butts about it.
My only advice to Mr. Pettet would be: don’t eat for 24 hours, make sure you thoroughly rinse dat ass, and use lot’s of lube or this sexual adventure could easily turn into a ride down the Hershey River, and not in a fun Willy Wonka kinda way.
‘Tis the season to be bitchy…falalalala-la-lets break up…Winter has been known to put hemorrhoidal strain on your relationship, so it’s time we learned how to beat the cock-blocking habits and shack up successfully.
Why is love colder in the winter? With cold weather banging on the door, the opportunities to get out of that cardigan and into someone’s pants are plentiful. With droves of sickeningly romantic scenarios like cozy fires, cuddle-friendly temperatures and holiday parties galore, there shouldn’t be anything holding you back from getting hot and sweaty. So why is it that the season can be so hard on your love life?
It is said that couples kick the inevitable, ice-cold bucket twice as often during the holiday season. Extra weight like your bat-shit crazy Aunt’s titty, or fruitcake, or fruitcaketitty is placed on the freezing, frail framework of your relationship and some go couples just go nuts. There is even a little science behind it all: Our energy levels are lower during the cold weather and we tend to be bitchier, two factors that make for one hell of a clusterfuk.
You can’t beat Mother Nature, but you can learn to beat these relationship-¬murdering winter woes. Here are some ways you can avoid having to rely on your own frozen cold handy:
Stop Being an Icy Bitch
Bitchy attitudes multiply like added pounds and pant sizes and being cooped up inside like ice-heads for months at a time will make you go ham. Go outside as often as possible. The season’s lack of sunlight brings levels of serotonin to frightening Miley lows.
Don’t Let Fat Get You Down
After dodging the cold and nut shrinkage, it’s great to come home, shed your layers of cashmere and thermal basics and stuff your face with some warm, filling comfort food, like a heaping bowl of pasta, or blocks of cheese. Since getting out of bed in the morning is as fun as putting your dick in a meat grinder, you need a banana bag of espresso to feel like moving and interacting with the world. Then add the fact that it’s pitch dark by 5:00pm and you’re ready for your fifth vodka tonic far earlier….you get fucked. Not by your boyfriend but by your health and fitness routine (or lack thereof).
Watch your crack like addiction to carbs and stimulants. Eat, drink or suck the protein out of everything, and stick to serotonin-enhancing foods…go from molly to fish, cottage cheese, and eggs. Shit works, and you’ll have more energy to invest in fucking instead of fighting.
Fuck Like Rabbits
Extra cushion for the pushin’ makes you feel less than sexy, that with melatonin and other lack of light sensitive brain chemicals make you want to fall asleep when you get on your back instead of spreading your legs in a second like in the good ole days of summer. When you notice a seasonal sex blue ball special headed your way, I say grab your guy and hit the gym, head outside on sunny days and go for a run or have a nice nature fuck to nab some natural lighting . Not only will you both get an endorphin rush from the exercise and anxiety of being caught, but you’ll also raise your serotonin levels and lower your melatonin levels, making you feel less like a depressed recluse and more like a human.
photos via: http://loglikesguyz.tumblr.com/, tumblr_mbys2pQDgz1rdo22ro1_500